


there's no chance for us

by lover_of_blue_roses



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Afterlife, Death Fic, Gen, Happy Ending, Hospitalization, Not beta'd we die like men, Serious Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-09-19 04:40:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20325244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lover_of_blue_roses/pseuds/lover_of_blue_roses
Summary: Brian is near death, so near death that he keeps waking up in the next life. But Freddie isn't there. Roger isn't there. Does this mean Brian gets to live on in this place that can only be hell without his dearest friends? What hope is there then? Why would he want to live on at all?





	1. give it up for fallen glory

Brian doesn't remember how he got here. It feels like he's got a blanket over his face. He can't open his eyes and it's hard to breathe. He's not panic but rather tired and hazy as he tries to lift his hand and wipe away whatever is on his face. His hand feels like it's trapped in something and can only move slowly. He eventually tries to sit up. What is on him parts and slides off until he is sitting in a shallow grave.

He slowly shakes the dirt off of himself as it dawns to him what is happening and where he is. And where is he beyond that? It's dim and cool here. He stands up on shaking legs and looks up. Above him is what looks like a rotten wood roof and where some of the slats are missing, sunlight is pouring through. He looks around. The space is small and is mostly taken up by a large sprawling peony bush besides his grave.

The bush is in full bloom and absolutely beautiful. The flowers, at least as large as his palm, are a luscious pink in the middle that fades to white at the petals' tips. At the top of his grave is a small plant with fat thick green leaves, they don't look anything like the peonies. Other than that the ground is covered in short dry grass. He walks around, on the other side of the peonies the soil is overturned as though there are two more graves. Brian rushes forward, falls to his knees and sticks his hand in the very loose soil. There is no need for a shovel to see that unlike his, these ones are still empty.

He slowly gets back up, feeling shaken. He looks down and he's in odd clothing he doesn't know. It looks like an undyed linen tunic. He pats the material to see that he isn't wearing anything underneath. He looks around but there are no answers. He's still standing in that odd place with three shallow graves and blooming peonies. The space is curved on one side as though it was a natural structure and the other side is missing, leading out onto a shaded field of tall grass. With no where else to go and nothing else to do, Brian goes to investigate that direction.

He steps out and it's much warmer outside of the cavity. He hears a rustling in the bushes, the sound of feet and voices, "I'm telling you, another one of them is out." "You better be right this time." His blood turns to ice and his eyes widen. They're talking about him, he just knows it, and despite not knowing what's happening, he's terrified. He can feel is heart like a jackhammer in his chest.

Before he can do anything, whether scream or hide, he wakes up with a jolt. He's in another hospital room. His wife is by his side and calls for the doctors holding out a glass of ice chips that she helpfully tips into his parched mouth. She's saying something but it's faint and he can't make it out. Soon he falls back into unconsciousness but this time he doesn't dream.

When he wakes again, the shadows in the room are much lower although Anita is still there. She sitting at the bed's end table and peeling an apple. "Oh you're awake! Don't move, the doctors said you couldn't move on your own." She reaches for the bed remote and places it in his hand, "It's nice to see you awake. We were really worried about you. How do you feel?"

"Fine but I think I'm on some powerful stuff if my head feels like this." He pushes the remote to sit up and while he's aware his bodies moving, he can't really feel it. He tries to smile reassuringly and feels the nasal cannula wedged between his lip and nose. "I- What happened?" His voice is a little raspy and she approaches with a glass of water.

"There was a bad crash. With the jet. They aren't- The police aren't sure it was an accident."

"Roger? Adam? Spi-" He starts to spit out as many names as he can until his wife puts a finger on his lips at his agitation.

"Calm down, you are in a delicate state. Almost everyone is fine. The copilot has only just gotten out of surgery but they're hopeful she'll make a full recovery." Brian feels bad because he didn't even know her name. "Everyone else only has bumps and bruises they're likely to heal from. You were hurt pretty badly and you fell into a coma, it's been three days, but hopefully your on the mend now... Roger is- Roger's..."

Brian clutches her hand, "Alive?"

She nods, a little apologetic to put him through that, "He's very injured too. They don't know when he'll wake up or how well he'll recover. At your ages... It's possible some of the damage is permanent."

"He's not awake?" Brian looks around as though Roger might pretend he was hiding behind the curtain the whole time.

"Would you rather be in shared rooms? The doctors.. They felt because of you're sensitive condition you shouldn't be told what state Roger is in but I couldn't- I couldn't let you fear he was dead when he's not. Your both very determined souls. The doctors also felt, for the moment, that you might recover better in a private room alone but if you're awake and lucid, I'll ask about a change, see if you and Roger can't share." Anita stands up with a cup in hand, hopefully to get more ice chips.

Brian nods. He's not sure how lucid he is. This much morphine makes him feel very not himself. "Roger's fine. He's going to be fine. He wasn't there."

"Wasn't where? He was in the plane with you daring," Anita says rushing back, taking his hand again, giving him the refilled glass. He squeezes her hand reassuringly. She so lovely and attentive to him, he's so unspeakably lucky that she came into his life.

"He wasn't in my dream. I hadn't had that dream in years. Years and years. Must be decades at this point. Seventy-four? That must be right, that was when- I wonder what it is about hospitals that I keep having that dream. How strange." Brian is feeling loopy on the painkillers and doesn't hold back his thoughts, "There were peonies now. They weren't there before. I was able to get up. I had never been able to get up before. There was a field and I think there were people there, waiting for me but I don't," He remembers the terror he felt, he clutches her hand, "I don't think I want them to have me."

"No one is going to have you. No one but me," Anita brushes aside his hair and feels his forehead. 'No One but You' echoes oddly in his mind. She's close to him now and she's beautiful. Age has changed her face and yet she looks distinguished and elegant.

"I think they are. But not now, not yet." Brian hadn't seen that place since when his hepatitis was at its worse but he knows what the dream is of. One day he'll die like all things do and that day, that place will have him but not today.

And where was Freddie? Brian had dearly hoped to wake up in that place to Freddie's face. Had those people taken Freddie and where were the peonies from? He didn't have the answers he'd like but he thinks inevitably he'll eventually be able to get his answers and when he does, he'll wish he had had a little bit more time without them.

His head is in a fog and when he looks up from his empty cup, its to Anita and a doctor talking in the doorway, "No. I understand but we can't lower the dose just yet. He's out of it but it's better to stay ahead of the pain until he gets a little bit better." Sarina appears in the doorway with another person in a lab coat. Anita and Brian's doctor move so they can roll Roger in on his gurney.

He looks small like that, hidden under the blankets and wrapped up in bandages. The machines beeps away slow and his chest barely moves. What little of his skin is showing is bruised. He looks very fragile. It did seem likely, the older both of them got, the more likely it would be that one of them would end up wasting away in a hospital. But they had secretly, quietly hoped, that it was fast and would blindside them. No time for goodbyes or to watch your best friend waste away. Just there one day and gone the next. As harsh as that might sound, they had ample evidence that a slow death was agony to witness.

Their deaths would be extremely difficult on each other regardless, they had known each other for fifty years at this point. The emotional toll would be enormous and devastating. Not just for each other but their families and the whole community of fans, they would all suffer too. It had of course occured to Brian that if he didn't want to watch another member of his quartet die, he had to die next. Which would leave them with their grief. Were any of them strong enough to endure another two of them dying? But if they both died at the same time, in the same crash... Maybe... Maybe it would be easier on John... Only to attend one funeral. These are Brian's last thoughts as he closes his eyes, the last thing he sees is Roger's body lying there.


	2. now I'm terrified to face it on my own

When Brian can think again, he's buried again. He sits up and lets the loose dirt pool at his hips. He stands up and looks up. It's still sunny, it doesn't look like anything had changed. He looks towards the opened of the cavity, he doesn't head towards it this time. He instead looks around. The small green plant seems to have grown and might now have buds. 

He looks at the the shallow grave on the other side of the peonies for Roger. There's nothing, there's no one but another budding plant pushing through the topsoil. He checks the other too, just in case. These plants must somehow be linked to them, but rather than grow with life, they must grow with their correspondents death. 

He turns to the beautiful peony bush. Jim, the master gardener himself, would be proud to have one this lovely. Certainly a blue ribbon winner. "Fred? Is that you?" Brian asks it. The plant doesn't move or react. Is this live after dead? To be a plant? If so Freddie has chosen a magnificent yet understated form. Nothing as tacky as a rose nor extravagant as an orchid. He sits down on what he presumes to be Roger's grave facing the peonies. "I'm happy Roger isn't here. That's a good thing. I just wish you were here Freddie. Why aren't you here? You should be here."

Before he can continue his rhetorical questioning he hears a russell in the foliage behind him. He turns around to see primitively dressed people approached. When they see him, they shout and point. "See! See! I told you, I told you I heard someone. There's another one out."

Brian is afraid but there's little he can do to protect himself aside from obtain information. "Another one? Is it Fred? Have you seen him? Do you know what's happened to Roger?"

"Who?" "We don't know." "We need you to come with us." They speak over each other. They look like normal humans, all appearing to be men. They are mostly caucasian and ethnically ambiguous dressed skimpily in furs and woven leaves. There are knives and pouches hanging from their belts. They have paint on their face, and most importantly wield long spears. The spears looks sharp and the tips are dyed brown with old dry blood. "Come with us." They repeat as they are only a few feet away.

Two of them bend down to grab him by his biceps, lifting him to his feet. "Wait I-" They try to frog march him out of this cavity. "No please, what's going on-" They refuse to answer his question or pause saying instead, "You must come with us." He struggles in their tight grips but can't break from their firm hold. They approach the entrance of this place and the field of tall grass. The sun is shining brightly outside. Ominously brightly, as though a single ray of light might reduce Brian to dust like it would to a vampire. He struggles harder, he doesn't want to leave. As a last ditch effort he makes himself go boneless, become dead weight. His captors aren't expecting his legs to stop holding him up and his weight is enough to take them down with him. They tumble to the ground where Brian smacks his head hard.

Again Brian wakes up in the hospital room but this time with a terrible headache. Sarina and Anita are clutching each other. They aren't out right sobbing but there eyes are very wet. Neither of them, not even the ever decked out Sarina, are wearing mascara. When he looks over Roger hasn't just not woken up but has fallen into a coma. 

"Rog," he tries but his voice is stuck in his throat. His mouth isn't dry but his head is spinning. 

"Brian," Anita comes and stands between him and the sight of Roger. She hands him a cup but he's not thirsty.

"Roger," He tries again. He can't form a sentence. He can barely focus on what just happened. 

"Relax, please sweetheart, Roger is doing alright. He has the best medical care money can buy and he's a fighter. He's going to try his best. Just think about yourself for now." Brian's eyes water as his wife's kind words. She carefully doesn't say Roger is going to be fine. Instead she describes what Freddie went through. A strong will to survive. The best medical care. And yet- And yet money meant nothing to the unrelenting-ness of death. 

"He didn't wake up?" He looks at her with his wet eyes. It's a rhetorical question. "Then why wasn't he there?" Brian would like an answer to this one, although Anita is unlikely to have it. Roger was... Roger is the best of them. If anyone deserves more life it was Roger, another chance to live and be young. Roger is so passionate and strong-willed. Determined and caring. There could be multiple heavens but what cruel God would separate them again. Why was Brian there but not Roger?

Unless... Unless of course that Brian wasn't in a heaven but rather in a hell. Those people had certainly been scary and threatening enough. But then... What had Brian done to deserve that? He had tried his best to treat others with respect. He had tried his best never to hurt another, be it human or animal. To give back to the community and those less fortunate than him. Sure he hadn't always succeeded or tried his hardest but he hadn't been a criminal. But maybe that wasn't enough. He hadn't been nice enough to Freddie or kind enough to Deaky or considerate enough to Roger. Brian had always been so dead set on his goals, uncompromising in his vision and unwavering in his believes. He would have run roughshod over the other if they had let him.

Brian didn't think of himself as perfect person. He was aware of his flaws, but he didn't think he was a bad person and he certainly didn't think he deserved perpetual torment or torture. Brian hoped with all his heart that this was not his fate. 

He lies back down and tries to fall unconscious but merely falls asleep and when he wakes up he is still in the same hospital room. The sun is low in the sky and the light of the early morning illuminates the private room. Anita has changed into fresh clothes and possibly has showered. She is seated on the wheelable hospital bed end tables trying to get Sarina to eat. Sarina doesn't look like she's slept. Her normally coiffed hair hangs limply and her face is makeup free. She's taken apart her food with her fork but it doesn't seem she's eaten any of it. She pushes food around her plate while Anita rubs her arm comfortingly. Neither of the ladies notice Brian's open eyes.

Brian's head feels just as foggy as every time he's woken up. Whatever he's on is the good stuff and they are giving him a lot of it. He tries to think because he knows there's something important he's forgetting. It's staring him right in the face but all he can do is watch the once vibrant, exuberant Sarina be this empty shell.

"Roger-" Brian would exclaim but his voice is hoarse and quiet. It's not loud enough to get the women's attention over Anita's gentle encouragements. He turns his head until he spots Roger, still in that bed, under the covers and covered in bruises. He clearly hasn't awaken. And yet he wasn't there. "Roger," Brian says as though he is already mourning his friend's passing.

This time Anita does hear him and comes over with a plastered on smile. "Brian, honey, you're a wake! That's wonderful, I'll just call the doctor. How are you feeling?" She asks as she feels his forehead. He feels like he's back in grade school and his mother is checking his temperature. He feels small in that bed, small and powerless. His best friend, the one that's still alive, is dead or dying and Brian can't help him or do anything to stop it. Roger might already be in another place and Brian can't find him. Unless Roger isn't in that place...

A doctor arrives and breaks his train of thought. He's poked and prodded to check him physically. He questioned oddly to check him mentally. Brian has a feeling he's failing in both measures. The medicine makes it so he can't focus on anything except the thought of Roger's wellbeing running around his mind.

"It would be best if you slept now. Just rest up. Leave the rest to us," The doctor tries to reassure as she leaves the room. But what is there to feel confident in? Brian has already seen one of his friends at death's door only to lose them. They wasted away as Brian was powerless to do anything but witness it. And Brian's health is also very poor. Is he not too at death's door? Again? He might not only die but also widow his wife, abandon his children and devastate his friend. 

But death might not be the worse that fate has in store. What awaits him afterward? An answer normally no one can answer. A strange place. And those people. Those grabbing, pulling kidnappers. Was Hell what awaited him? Even if it was very dissimilar to the Christian belief of it, Brian remembers the fear they had induced, how powerless he had been against so many and the glint of their sharp knives and spears. 

Brian doesn't want to fall asleep. And he especially doesn't want to fall asleep if Roger isn't here or there. Yet he continues to be powerless as fatigue makes his already foggy brain go blank. The only hopefully thought Brian has to cling to is the image of the beautiful peonies. Truly the loveliest he had ever seen.


	3. I still write you all these songs

He awakes to the familiar feeling of dirt covering him. He doesn't move for a moment, hoping to fall back into sleep and re-awaken in the hospital. It doesn't happen and as Brian feels wide awake he doubts it will. Slowly he rises from the loose soil. Everytime those people had come they had mentioned 'hearing' it or him. So hopefully however he arrived at this place was not the source of the noise and he could, if he remained quiet, pass without them arriving. 

The budding plant above his grave has grown larger still. Probably not a good sign to his continued well being in the mortal realm. The dense, still green, flower buds are now clearly recognizable as hydrangeas. The peonies look as lovely as ever. If that what awaits him then? Is this how Freddie ended up? Blooming, blossoming but only a plant. That can't take or move. Oh how Freddie love to move and dance, he could never stand still. To him, what that illness did to him, trapping him in his own body, to the point where he could barely stand let alone groove.

Brian's melancholy thoughts threaten to drown him. If Roger was here Brian isn't sure he wouldn't rip apart the flowering bush in pure anger, but Brian just wants to lie back down and waste the day away. Nothing awaits him. Outside this cave there are only those threatening people with their sharp spears and grabbing hands.

No. Brian will stay here. His grave, however, looks cold and lonely. Again he wishes to curl between Roger and the peonies, sandwiched between Freddie and Roger like when they were poor and struggling. Thankfully John isn't here. Three is enough, one so young and then two at once? Definitely enough. 

Above Roger's grave a plant is growing, growing so fast. It's already so tall. He has no idea what plant it could be aside from a blossoming one. It doesn't look like it but maybe it's a sunflower. Roger deserves to be something tall and bright although Brian would prefer his friend's plant didn't grow for many decades still. 

Brian crouches in the dirt. The shallow grave appears to be moving.

Brian leans forward. He.... He isn't afraid. He reaches out as though to touch and Roger's face emerges. He looks younger. Maybe fifty years old. Brian lifts his hand that he's been reaching out with and it too looks younger. Not like when he was twenty but not the thicker fingers nor the liver spotted skin. And he had been able to crouch easily, his body and knees able to move like so.

Roger slowly blinks open his blue, blue, eyes. He looks dazed and confused, "What, where?" Roger slowly surfaces. Roger looks a little unusual with his younger face and big beard. Brian takes him by the hand and the shoulder to help him sit up. He looks sleepy and his eyes are heavy-lidded. If Roger is tired then maybe... maybe he still going to live, at least a little bit longer. "Brimi?" Roger says in a small voice, clutching his tunic. Roger seems to be wearing the same kind of tunic.

"It's okay. I'm here Roger."

"Here?"

"Shh. It's alright, you're going to wake up soon. Just lay back down," Brian helps lay him back down in the dirt. Roger is here but it can't be his time, not yet. Brian refuses. They might have been together fifth years but for once Brian isn't opposed to their separation. If one of them must pass let it be him for his old and weary of the world. Brian lies down next to Roger, half in the peony bush. Roger blinks his eyes shut. Brian croons softly the lullaby he wrote for Jimmy. "Hush, don't you cry, there'll be no pain /The bad wolf has gone / He'll have no part of our game / All too soon the dream world's fading/Says farewell." Roger's body relaxes although he keeps holding on to Brian's hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently every time I get a comment I post a chapter


	4. you're not there

It takes Brian longer to fall asleep but once he does, he awakes again to the hospital. It's odd how he keeps traveling from one to the other. When he had been very sick with hepatitis, he had been there only twice and had been unable to move, traveled under the earth. Now it seems almost every time he loses consciousness he alternatives.

Neither Anita nor Sarina are in the room this time. He wonder's what's happened as he pushes the 'call nurse' button. The nurse that arrives is different from last time, rather than a porter woman its a gentle giant that kindly cares from him. Brian is brought more ice chips to suck and a little food to eat although he doesn't have much of an appetite. And less so after the news: Apparently Roger's condition has worsened. Their wives are off to cry in private as to not disturb him. Not only has Roger failed to regain consciousness after the accident or after surgery, not only has he fallen into a coma, but they believe he is brain dead. 

What has Brian done? Has Brian just abandoned his friend there? So many unanswered questions, so many possibilities. And the one he kept coming back to, where is Freddie? What if Roger fell asleep in that land and his consciousness was rejected by his body here? Could it be that somehow slow deaths of the body somehow mean that an afterlife is not possible. Brian can feel tears start to whelp. He hasn't cried yet this whole time, and he doesn't want to start now... but...

Roger might be dead. And Brian abandoned him. Left him all alone in that scary place. What kind of friend is he...? Obviously, it's not his fault as he didn't know and yet he can't help but to feel it is. Just like with Freddie's illness. There's nothing that can be done, it's not Brian's fault and yet it feels like it is. Every breath he takes is like breathing through tar. The grief chokes his insides and hurts his heart.

The nurse is politely doesn't point out Brian's breakdown. He can't be blamed for his reaction to the news. His friend, his best friend, dead and abandoned. How can anything matter ever again? Brian knows exactly what this grief will do to him. He's gone through it once and he knows he can't go through it again. He tells the nurse a message for his wife, that he'd rather join Roger in death than to suffer his death. The nurse tries to convince him to live for his children and wife. But his children are adults now, grown and capable they don't need him anymore. He's only an old man no one has need of him, no one but...His only been awake from about thirty minutes but he can feel that darkness encroaching and he willing lets it pull him down into the blackness.

He awakes to the evening light in the hospital room. No, no. This can't be. He tries to sit up but his body is too weak. He just rotates his head and it already feels like he's run a mile. Roger is in the corner, the curtain are drawn. They haven't pulled the plug yet as the vitals are ticking around the monitor but Brian knows its only a matter of time if they can be sure he is brain dead. Even if he isn't Roger has it stipulated in the same place he's chosen an emergency medical contact that he doesn't want to be left running on machines even if he is coma, that he wants the plug pulled. He's made his feelings very clear on his subject.

Brian can see that at the foot of both of their beds there are mountains of flowers and cards. Well wishes from their loved ones. If all the Taylor children have come and said their last goodbyes then it's really not long until they let his body stop. And maybe that's for the better. Brian just hopes that if he can't be there, in that other place, that Freddie might be. The peonies might wilt so that Freddie can rise again.

Brian can feel tears at his eyes again but he refuses to let them fall. There will be time for crying in that other place first he has one last piece of business to attend, his family. He calls for the nurse that lets them in. Brian's been out of it for about a week now, long enough for all the living Mays to show up.

Their eyes are red rimmed and their affection genuine. Brian loves his children and he's just sad for he doesn't think he'll be able to see all their great future accomplishments but he's sure they can do anything they set their minds too. They are brilliant, brave and so capable. They've been raised right and now they have all the tools to go on. They'll mourn him like he mourned his father in his turn but hopefully the pain will lessen so that they can think of his fondly and now that no matter where life takes them, he's proud of them. 

They say words like 'you'll get better' and 'you be back on your feet again in now time,' but Brian knows this is not true. He's not going to get better, he's not even going to leave this hospital bed. His going to die here in this bare room with its blank walls and sterile smell. He's not going to move one after another friends death. Brian is going to die and there's nothing holding him back.. Except of course... John Deacon. 

Brian feels terrible that they are leaving John behind even though they haven't spoken in over ten years now. They weren't just co-workers but brothers in music. Recording, touring and living in each others pockets for more than twenty years.

Hopefully all this time apart has lessened the strong bonds that one existed between the them. Hopefully John will know better this time and stay away from the funeral, all that awaits him is heartbreak. Brian wouldn't want John to be sad. Wouldn't want him to cry. John is still the youngest, even if he didn't outlive Freddie by 1996, he's still the youngest to them. And so he should outlive them all, it's only fair. Queen took away so much of his life. He wasn't there for so much of it, his children's first steps and words and graduations. Hopefully he's found all the bliss in the world being retired and being able to spend every hour of every day with his family and those that love him most.


	5. I wish I could ask for just a bit more time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The supernatural element is really starting to come into play. I understand this might really cause some of you to stop reading but this was always where the story was headed.

Brian couldn't fall asleep that night after his family left. He had been polite and veiled but clear about the situation to Anita. It was truly unlike he would get better and if he was to die, he'd rather pass away peacefully in the night than to cling on for a few more pathetical weeks of being an invalid where he was confined to a bed and others had to bath him. So the question remaining was whether it would be easier for his wife to go home and have the hospital phone her of his passing or to stay here the night and be with him for the very last minute. Brian's preference was clear, he'd much rather faded quietly. Go gentle into that good night. 

His wife could tell that he'd rather she not find his dead body. To say nothing of the horrors of death, should he gasp out or lose control of his bowels, that was not how he wanted her to remember him. He'd much rather her last memory was of his smiling face and his kind words as he wishes her love and happiness. Maybe even love again. For some thirty years she had been the bright light of his life, passionate, farious and full of conviction, but now their time was over. Brian would deny her nothing. Anita, grieving the possible death of her husband, refused to even consider the possibility. Brian understood her refusal but he wished she'd remember this door was open when he was long cold in the ground and she had mourned.

Anita leaves and Brian can't sleep. His body isn't strong enough to toss and turn. He is gravely injured and is muscles have started to atrophy. He tries to imagine that place and its peony bush, to will himself there but he remains in his bed staring at the off-white walls. As the hour grows later and later, the hospital quiets down he can hear the soft breathing of Roger. His body continues to function, his heart pumps, his lungs expand but his brain that marvelous wonder is no more. The brilliant sharp mind that spoke passionately about human rights and justice is silent forever more, the boy that loved and lived, partied and enjoyed life to the fullest will never see any other sunrise. No more Roger. No more of his best friend.

Brian can't bear the thought. The grief threats to drown him. Now that he knows Roger is in that life after this one, even if it is only to live as peonies and hydrangeas, Brian wants to stay by his side forever. Forever with the silly drummer from Smile who claimed to be as good as Ginger Baker and then proved to be better than John Bonham. 

The emotional pain blends with the physical and he wonders if he could request so much morphine they'd give him enough to overdose. Unlikely and a hospital is probably the safest place to overdose in the world. He's tired, not in body which he can barely feel through the fog of what pain drugs he is on, but of the mind. Long he's walked this weary path. And so much of it feeling... Not so much blue but grey. Like the color had faded from the walls. What grief he has own and yet what highs. Top of the world, rock gods with audiences of thousands all in the palm of their hand. That eternal question then: Was it all worth it?

'Yes,' Brian assures himself as the light of the rising sun starts to illuminate the room and darkness comes upon him. 

=============

For what he hopes is the last time, Brian awakes under loose soil. Hopefully he will rise from this grave never to awaken it ever again. When he emerges and sits up, its to see that the hydrangea bush is large and plentiful, but not as big as the peony bush nor with as many flowers. The pale baby blue of the hydrangea looks dull and yet complementary to what Brian has thought of as Freddie's flowers. As he now rises and leaves his grave, he hopes the same is Freddie's fate.

But before he even stood up its to see growing on the other side a tall stalk dotted with flowers the size of biscuits. The hollyhocks petals have white centers and yellow tips which stands out sharply against the green of the leaves. They are beautiful, standing tall and proud, vibrant, almost defiant in their posture; truly a flower worthy of Roger. 

When Brian looks on the other side he sees an empty shallow grave like his own but no Roger. Of course. Like Roger could ever do as he's told and stay put. Roger, who could pick a fight with an empty house, is probably in trouble. Brian remembers the fearsome people that had tried to abduct him and the glint of their spears. He hopes where Roger is he is safe and hopefully reunited with Fred.

Brian tries to shallow but all of a sudden there is a lump in his throat. Roger. Who isn't hear and yet his grave is now empty and his flower blossoming tall and proud. Which means that while Brian got to awake and kiss his wife one last time and say his finally goodbyes to his children Roger woke up here alone. Brian failed him, he abandoned his best friend to an unknown fate, possibly a dangerous, teratrous out. A sob builds but Brian refuses to cry, not until he is reunited with Roger. 

If Roger didn't stay here, he must have gone out. Before he leaves he takes one each flower. The hydrangea he puts in the loose v-neck threads. The peony and hollyhocks go into his hair, one on each side. It'll be dangerous to leave the relative safety of the cave but he must know. Brian can't just let any happen. He steps to the mouth of the cave and looks at the bright sunlight. Last time he was terrified to be dragged into the rays as though he was a vampire about to be reducted to ash. He was and still is afraid of this unknown world but he's more concerned about Roger's wellbeing.

There are clear marks in the stepped and downtrodden grass of one person coming through. Brian follows in what he hopes are his dear friends footprints. Then? He runs. His body is younger and much more agile although certainly not the agility of his youth. He explodes out of the cavity and into the field of tall grass.

The path travels straight through the tall grass so Brian assumes that Roger continues in this direction. The area is of a very sparse forest or a tree filled field. There is a dirt path that Brian hopes Roger took, as obviously now there is no more sign of which direction he went. 

Brian hurries along the dirty path. He doesn't keep running because he's not sure this the right direction, it would be like Roger to set a false trail, and because his body simply can't keep running. He must speed walk for at least a forty-five minutes, if not an hour until he comes upon them. He sees them from afar as there is nothing to hinder his view. He slows down as he approaches but it's of no real use as he must push onwards to find Roger.

There are two groups of the local people fighting over Roger, gag and bound in the middle with rope. He is restrainted and a little roughed up but not seriously harmed. Tear prickle at Brian's eyes but there is no time for crying right now. There is one group that is mostly men, Brian's pretty sure those are the ones that tried to abduct him last time. The other group is mostly women. They have fewer pouches and more weapons, however their weapons are free from any markings of blood. Brian isn't sure if this is because they are more fastidious or have seen less battle. 

They turn to face Brian. He clearly stands apart the same way Roger does. They are wearing the same undyed linen tunics with clean faces. Both groups are dressed in the minimal primitive coverings and face paint he saw last time. A clear contrast to the 'locals.' "Would you claim this one too?" The leader of the men asks. Brian remember his voice, it had been him that had repeated ordered: 'We need you to come with us.' It sent a shiver down his spine.

"Yes, we would claim this one too. They come from the same flowerbed. They are not to be separated," States the leader of the women. Brian feels uncomfortable classing them in his mind as the men and the women as the teams are not homologous in gender. Thus he assigns them titles of Mean Team and the Maybe Team respectively. 

"And how will you pay? You could not pay for one and know you would demand two?"

"You haven't claimed this one." Retorts the lady. No sooner does she say this than a rope comes whipping out towards Brian. He raises his hands futilely to shield his face. A machete length blade is wielded in front of him and the rope falls to the ground. 

A hand is gently placed on his shoulder as a one of the few men from the Maybe Team, steps up right beside him. "We claim him in our name and may none have him but those that ready and willing to meet the next-world at the end of my blade." There is magic in these words and Brian feels a brand settle on his collarbone. When he looks down a leaping wolf is depicted against his skin.

"Now you will hand over the other for we do not fear your dull weapons anymore than your dull words. If you think to win against us you can try your metal, but you are young to die and talent-less enough for that to be your fate," The Maybe Team stands confident and unflinching. 

The Mean Team worry and fidget. Look at each other with concern as they shift around their weight. "We want to be compensated," speaks one from behind. 

"Your continued life is compensation enough." / "We need not be fair to slaver."

The leader slashers her hand in the air. "We have only twenty to offer. We will give it but there will be no future payments. It will be this or it will be nothing at all."

There is grumbling but the Mean Team understands that they have been bested and that this truly is the best they can get. So they accepted and leave in the direction Brian just came from. The Maybe Team, which Brian was considering renaming the Yes Team, started to untie Roger's from his bond. "Not now. Hopefully, not know, but later, another will come from-" He hesitates at the odd and yet correct term, "from our flowerbed. A fourth."

"We protect every soul we can from those that would abuse them."

"We had another, before us-" /"And Freddie!" Roger interrupted as they freed him from his gag.

"I, yes exactly," Brian carefully took the peony from his nest of curls. "This was from his flower bush."

The woman delicately took it and examined it. "I do not recognize this aura but you are both of Myra. There is a very strong chance that this brother of your is also of Myra. Anyone with any sense would bring you to her, to her Domain. This is where we are bringing you. Hopefully he will be there."

"But he could- He could be passed?"

"From this world and into the next? Yes, I suppose. This world is, from my understand much more dangerous of the Terra you come from. It is my understand that while there were deathly plagues that killed and prevent the living into adulthood, it has gotten much better in the last a hundred cycles of the sun?"

Roger nods absentmindedly, clearly still thinking about Freddie. "If we can't- If we don't find him hear, will we find him in the next world? If we pass on fast enough?" 

Brian is a little horrified and yet if death is not the end, then perhaps suicide isn't that bad. But the Leader shakes her head. "There are many worlds in which one can be reborn into. You would have no guarantee to follow where he might have gone. It was only because of your bond on Terra that you have all awoken here, together. Only if you reforge this bond in this world will you live together again in the next."

Fred- He could have just slipped out of their fingers. And all because Brian had suffered and soldiered on, trying to be brave, refusing to die. Nothing's made him more suicidal than this news. It's too late and yet his life seems so trial, his ordeals pointless. He's spiraling and can do nothing but fold in half and clutch at his head. 

At the same time as he grazes the hollyhock with his hand, he feels Roger hug him from behind, finally free of his bonds. "No, don't you dare. You did nothing wrong and you never have. Fred was clear. He wanted you to live on. Your children. Your life. Your career. You couldn't have known. No one knows this. You did what was right, what was best. And that's what we are going to do now. Even if that means you only have me," Roger says with a self-deprecating smile. As though Roger isn't as good, as though Roger is just second place.

Brian turns around and hugs him back. And hand flies between them, as quickly as when it cut the rope coming for him but this time instead of a machete, it plucks the hydrangea from being flattened. They don't even notice to busy crying. Brian has been holding back his tears for so long. He bawls like a infant. He wouldn't let himself cry in the hospital. Not when his family came to say their goodbyes. Not when his wife promised not to stay the night and watch him die, he had to be strong for them. Not even when he had woken up in that cold empty room with Roger's unresponsive body after they fell asleep holding hands. 

And now the dams have bursted and he is helpless to stop the flood of tears. He's just so relieved. Great racking sobs punch out of his chest. All the stress of Roger's fate, of his own fate, of Freddie's it's been laid to rest. Even if they never see Freddie again, which would be devastating, they can be sure he knew live again. But what kind of life?

He calms his breathing and wipes at his tears, the people are politely looking away to giving them space. "You spoke of slavers? Is that who they were? I was here before and they, they took a hold of me-"

"Be reassured in this at least. As you belong to Myra the only value you have aside from possible labor is in the selling of you to her. Taking you to her Domain to receive reward money. It's a lot of money. You would have been taken by those slavers, bound and treated poorly but delivered to Myra. All Terrans belong to her although they are not all worth equally as much. Slaves are not allowed in her Domain. Torture is not allowed in her Domain. She is the kind and the generous in this world. That being said, rule breaking is very serious and there are many rules there, rules that there are not in the rest of the world."

"Better rules. No slaves is better than slaves." Argues the same man that had reassured Brian earlier. They now notice he is holding the hydrangea. He places over Roger's ear to mirror Brian's hollyhocks. Roger now has his natural light brown hair instead of his dyed blonde. "They have rules that you may not beat your child nor your spouse. You can't take a sexual partner against their will. These are good rules. Myra has many rules this is true but those who call her a tyrant are wrong. More rules creates a better society. She has absolute justice but fair."

"She has a pact with Cherry of the Bay," Informs one of the girls.

"Come, we have far to walk if we are to give you to Myra," The Leader hustles them along.

"Cherry can see past events. Speak of who committed a crime," Clarifies another girl.

"People are executed but it is the guilty," The man continues. The way he says it makes it sound like that's not a certainty in other lands. Which is fair. America has very bias system that favors whites over blacks, rich over poor, eyewitness testimony over forensic evidence. Hell, it favors testimony over camera footage. If there is a way to see into one's mind then hopefully a better, more just system is truly in place. Roger and Brian both have some doubts. No place is truly a utopia and yet it need not be perfect, simply better and aware of its flaws, willing to change and improve.


	6. I never got to say goodbye

"Come, if we are to arrive at Myra's domain before sunset we should hurry," So they walk back the path they came from, guided by this strange people. 

They don't really understand all the details but they are happy just to be together again. Brian and Roger don't mention it but the being apart, waking up without each other after falling asleep side by side, has them shaken. They walk close together. They don't hold hands. There is lingering shame of such an act in their minds from being raised in the 50's. Such an act, a show of friendship and a request for security that would be acceptable between two girls, is tinged as wrong for boys even to their progressive minds.

Freddie has been on their mind so much as they now might finally have a chance to see him again. And yet within moments of walking in their pensive silence Roger realises the burning question Brian can answer for him. "Adam? Spike? Tyler-"

"Yes, yes." Brian calms his friend, wrapping an arm around them. "Anita told me they were all fine." Brian swallows with difficulty. While he was reassured by Anita that the other's in the wreck were fine, but for the copilot, and had said his farwells to his family; Roger must stew and regret the goodbyes unsaid, all the words left unspoken. Brian doesn't add anything else. Roger already knows. His family, all his children and his wife now a widow, heart broken. 

Roger only speaks quietly as though to the wind rather than Brian, "Sarina will be fine. She's young still. She'll live on. They all will."

Brian feels his chest tighten but he holds back the emotions. All those lives, all those years stretching out for the May and Taylor families, wives, children, grandchildren... But Roger, bright Roger, as tall and proud as the hollyhocks that grew from his flowerbed, always looking forward unlike the melancholic Brian. The thought of all the potential and possible futures seems to overwhelm them and make it hard to focus on anything else, but when they take a moment they silently reflect, without talking to each other, on the nature of all that they have left behind. 

For a leg of their trek from border to the forest they are quiet and pensive. It is a member of the Blue Team that interrupts the tense mood. "It is good your flower beds are so near the forest."

Roger seems eager to reestablish normalcy, willing to ask questions as to get clarification. "Why is it good that we are so near the forest?"

"The forest is the natural border between the western territories and the coast territories. We must cross it, to go to Myra's domain. The forest is terrible, treacherous," This description makes Brian think of the fiction forest of Mirkwood /Greenwood and while such a place would be horrible to deal with in relatively, the thought makes him smile. 

"There lives a species of animals in that forest, unlike anything on Terra I'm sure, and they are very, very dangerous. You must heed these rules: you are never to make eye contact with the Yanni. Be polite, respectful and deferential. Obey whatever the Yanni ask of you. And just hope above all that we do not meet any on our way there. Sometimes... They just decide to attack anyways."

'Obey what they ask of us?' Brian and Roger must wonder the same thing as the drummer's next question is, "They can speak?"

"They can and they appear to be just as mentally capable as humans. They however do have fingers to create tools like us and so in this, and this alone, we are superior. They have no interest in such though, they do not want our tools, they will not trade for anything but food when there are poor seasons. What they, the reason they are dangerous, if that they are such fast and excellent fighters. Animals evolved to kill in ways we are not." They go on to describe the forest inhabitants as an animal unlike any that exist on Terra, as large as a bear and as ferocious as a wolverine. 

They walk for a moment in silence to bask in the danger that has just been explained. Well, the locals are quite with footsteps like a cats, but Roger and Brian kick up gravel and crunch along. "And we are going to Myra because she will reward you for bring her people from Earth?" Roger finally asks to clarifies.

"A reward from her for you. And a reward from our Domain's master. We are one of the Blue Retrieval Teams," they finally introduce themselves. "We belong to a domain of a man named WarJay would use to be a warlord and who conquered all the north and most of the western coast. But then he fell in love with woman, Rhea, that was ruler of this part of the western territories. Rhea is a healer and is renowned for her pacifism." An explanation of the politics of the land to the Terrans will now inhabit can only be helpful.

"They are engaged to be married soon," continues another. "In order for them to be married Rhea has issued an ultimatum, that while he can keep his conquered expanded territory, he is never to start a war again or be to be ruler of her lands. WarJay has accepted and has renamed himself BlueJay. Most of his army, but for a small defensive unit, has been disbanded and his soldiers have been given a new mission, to please Rhea and her allies. That is what we are doing. Rhea, instead of conquering her neighbors like Jay, has allied with them. Myra is one such allie. As is Cherry, who domain border's Myra's and is also on the other side of the forest. Ah! We are here already."

"You must follow the instructions and remember to never make eye contact, don't even risk it look down at the earth and do not lift your eyes. It will not serve you much against such foe should you anger them but I can give you a knife if it would comfort you." Roger accepts but Brian refuses. Hopefully with such clear, explicit instructions they'll be fine. Maybe if they are really lucky they won't even come across any.

They are not this lucky.


	7. you're not there to share in my my success and mistakes

The path through the forest is clear and wide, wide enough for a car to drive on it. There is only one so their way through the forest is easy as it's impossible to get lost. The forest is very green, there must be both a lot of rainfall and relatively mild temperatures all year long. 

The Blue Team that had been lively and chatty are now quiet and their hands linger on their weapons. They walk on fleet footed and their eyes dart everywhere. Roger and Brian can't help but the nervous at this behavior but they try to continue on like nothing is amiss. They could get closer to each other if possible, they would cling to each as though the other was capable of fighting such a danger.

As much as they might hope to pass without incident, about twenty minutes into their journey, they heard up ahead a sound as though something is being poured or dropped. "Lower your eyes, and do not lift them," warnes one of the Blues hisses. "We come in good faith for we wish to travel to the Lands of Myra," they project out.

"Mmm," There is a inhuman rumble before them as though a giant was sanding it's nails. They can feel a looming presents in front of them that casts a long shadow but they don't even dare look at its feet. "Travel to the land of Scarlet?" It speaks in an accent not dissimilar to the one of deaf people possible due to the fact it does not have a throat for making human noises. "But you are Blues, are you not? Will you return through this way?" 

"We are Blues yes and these are our guests. But JayBlue has asked that all reported officers be tasked with helped and working for all Red allies in anyway. He's eng- He's made a deal with Rhea."

"Rhea is not a Red."

"No but Rhea has been allied with the Red alliagences."

"Ah, yes. The pacifist lawful allegiance. They all believe in freedom. No slaves, no wars. Good people. We like them. They have offered some sort of taxes or tolls to give us for having their people cross through the forest."

"Then they are as wise as we have been told to offer you your dues."

"Mmm," The animal grumbles again and Brian swears he can feel it in his bones. "Perhaps. We shall see and guest you say? Which ones? Guests of Blue step forward." Brian and Roger step forward and apart from the group. Brian can now see peripherally black mammalian paws with long, long claws. 

"Ah, I haven't smelt the likes in so many years. Terra I believe-"

"Fred-" Roger blurts out accidently cutting off the creature.

Brian steps in front of his dear friend as though he could be enough to protect him, "Please forgive him, our apologies. We had another in our flower bed whom we have missed for many many years and we are now desperately searching for."

Brian gulps. The animal doesn't response and the two rockstars wonder if they will awaken again in a new world and most important, will they be together in that new world. "I know you. I know your scent." Brian and Roger, keeping their heads and eyeline down, look at each through their lashes. "Ah yes, I have been told much of you from the brethren on the otherside, you are Doctor Brian Harold May." 

Brian is confused and nervous but swallows down his anxiety. "Yes, that's me. That is my name." 

The animal shuffles forward and a big wet nose snuffles at his face. Brian doesn't scream or fall back, standing there unmoving, almost unbreathing but for the racing of his heart. "It's such a pleasure to meet you, I've heard such good things about you and what you have done for us and others. While I understand passing onto the next world can be difficult and upsetting, I wish for you find your happiness here, it is what you deserve. You have permission to look at me." 

A member of Team Blue spuluters in surprise behind them. Brian did and gasped audibly. 

"What?" Whispers Roger.

"It's..." Before him sat a giant badger. Brian is beyond shocked. Literally a *Meles meles,* as silly as the Latin named seem. "A badger."

"I give you thanks of behave of my clan and clan folk for what you have done."

"I- Well- I- Okay- I mean, of course. I had to, suffering, suffering of the innocent. I couldn't just- And they couldn't advocate for themselves- I mean-"

"Yes my Terran brethren do not speak. And they are so small and weak, unable to fight and defend themselves like we do. You could crush them beneath your heel. It would be easy, trivial to do. And even if you did not partake in their persecution, you could have stood by. Like all the others. Done nothing. Turned away." Brian shakes his head as the Yanni / badger goes on. "You shake your head but speak I would hear your words."

"You say I could turn away but I tell you, I could no more turn away than if my child was crying. I didn't have a choice, not really, I mean I try to always choice to help and be kind but I could not- I earned money and power, such a spotlight of influence. I had to turn it to a cause, to have my voice, my reach, help those in need. And animals- completely innocent - they deserved any aid I could get them. And they weren't -they were being persecuted for a disease that wasn't there fault-" 

Roger coughs wetly, such a cause explained in such a matter resonates with him certainly. What the press had said about Fred, during his living but also after he'd past. That it was his fault. It had broken Roger's heart to hear their cruelty and Brian... his heart never stop being broken. Roger had always lived to look forward, onwards to the new and the next but Brian, a melancholic soul grieved by dwelling in the past, ruminating the good times. Hell, Brian liked to spend Boxing day watching old Queen concerts and watching Freddie move and dance on stage. Roger could never-

The Yanni and Brian chatter on as Roger's thoughts swirl. It's like he can't breathe. Here in this world, their destination of Myra's domain where all from Terra go, where they might see Freddie again... The thought pounds in his head, he can't live like this, he can barely breathe like this. Even if Freddie isn't here, it'd be better to just get an answer and get this over with. The only thing that mattered: Freddie or no Freddie?

The Yanni is so pleased with Brian that they offer to walk with them and provide protection as they cross through the forest. Team Blue is completely baffled by this turn of events but carefully does not look at their host without permission. They meekly follow as Brian kindly chats about this Yanni, their family and their children. 

Relatively soon they are through the forest. The trees part and the most incredible sight is visible. An ocean stretching as far as the wide can see of dark, rich bordering green color that makes the sky, dotted with fat clouds, all the more blue. Directly in front of them there is a shoreline of golden-white sand. To either side of this beach there are boulders and sheer cliffs. The view is amazing as is the sensation of the cool ocean wind and the smell of the salt water.

"The paths are neutral and unclaimable but these waters and this beach is Cherry's domain," Explains one of the Blues. "We are to follow this path left to Myra's."

"I will take you no further. I do not have leave to travel these human paths and no right to leave the forest."

Brian looks saddened by this news and places a hand comfortable on the dangerous predator's shoulder. "Then I'm sorry to be leaving you, it was a pleasure to meet you and your presence has been delightful. Hopefully one day, one day soon, this business about the tolls and taxes will be payed to your people and that might allow you to come and visit me."

The badger looks considering at this, as though it didn't consider that tolls opening the roads could work both ways. Perhaps this suggestion will push the cause forward, "Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words. Maybe we hopefully meet again then. Myra you say? Mmm, yes, yes perhaps."


	8. is it fair?

The Blue Team is far more settled to have the Yanni no longer in their midst. The path has them walk along the shoreline but Roger and Brian spot no ships. Strange that this Cherry's domain be water and that it not be populated. 

The path leads them up a rather steep slope and the Blue Team, all warriors fit and in their prime, must slow their rate so that Brian and Roger's older bodies can keep up. "Why aren't we young again? Like twenty if not infants or teenagers?" Roger 'askes' (read:bitches).

The area is mostly barren of plants, the ground is not soil but rather dried and crushed stone and gravel. Once they've crested the hill, a village makes itself apparent carved into the rocky coast line. The people aren't wearing the bare clothing of other people they've seen such as Blue Team but rather fashion very similar to Terra. That being said they wear a mix of all time periods. What few they see include a 18th century dress with stays, a 50's voluminous knee length skirt, a man in full tails with gloves and a top hat from the middle 19th century, traditional tibet wear, leather jacket punk from the UKs in the 70's and so on. 

Yet as diverse as the clothes are, they are recognizable and now it is the skimpy, primitively dressed Blue Team that looks out of place. Which brings up the question for the ever curious Roger, "How come we woke up in these?" around the plain tunics both Roger and Brian are wearing.

"It must be what your people were traditionally buried in," replies one of them. 

"Huh," Roger answers look down at it. Roger and Brian both come from a long, long time of British *British* people. When would they have dressed like this? Was sunday dress not the traditional way of burying someone for the last several hundred years? Is this from become medivian times? Roman times? Before that?

Their question has been answered without their question having been answered. That seems to be the theme of the afterlife. So many answers to so many unanswerable questions. What is there after this life? Will my loved ones be there? And while they have literal answers there is still so much uncertainty. Their loves who have passed might still be here but if they have already moved on to the next world, they may never see them again. Their new life will be under the absolute authority of this Myra person, who is said to be just and fair. But how can anything be just or fair without freedom? The inhabits on Terra, of Earth, with their culture stitched in the fabric of their clothes, have rebelled against those that would forge or hold their chains in the best, they should be as capable to do it again. 

The Blue Team brings them to one of the houses carved into the stonerock. There is no door but rather a bead curtain hangs in the arch. It parts to reveal, not a primitive stone dwelling but rather a fancy 60's record shop. There is densely motifs, vivid green and brown wallpaper with exposed wood-grain shelfs. On all four sides there are rows and rows upon of albums. The room is empty of inhabitants and they push on to a wooden door labeled 'Don't bother knocking.'

A member of Blue Team opens it and a wall of loud rock music blasts them. It's heavy and thumping as a man screams, 'She's got stickers on her locker /And the boy's number's there in magic marker.' The music is infections and Brian and Roger instantly bop their heads to the beat. 

The scene as they walk is two stunning gorgeous young twenty-somethings dancing their hearts out to the song. One has dark black skin with kinked hair worn out, she spots them instantly when they walk it despite dancing with her eyes closed. She touches the other on the shoulder to get her attention. The other looks like rather a lot like a female version of Roger with dyed blonde hair, large blue eyes and a soft face. They are both wearing tiny rompers that show off a tantalizing amount of skin. Rogerina has a soft luscious body while the black-skinned girl has toned muscles. 

The blondie waves her hand and the music drops to comfortable noise volume to speak over, "Can I help you?"

The leader of Blue Team steps forward, "Yes we are here to deliver Terrans."

"Terrans? Mmmm," She looks them up and down, at them standing there in nothing but tunics, "Yes, tell me are you here because you're infalible leader Jay asked it of you or because you know I'm the best price."

The Blue leader chooses, probably wisely, not to response, standing there with her feet shoulder width apart and hands behind their back.

"That's what I thought. Still it's nice either way. I doubt in their marriage but this is convenient. Those fucking southern raiders keep poaching at the borders. Hauling away freshly sprouted for their sick slavery. Here how about twenty for the both of them? Did you have any problems in the forest?" The blonde woman wisely changes the subject as to keep them occupied and unable to haggle over the price. 

The Blue Team freezes and looks at each other with wide eyes.

"Reassure me that it was on these native new-sprout Terrans that was killed," the blondie says coldly as the other counts what looks like copper bracelets to make the count of twenty. 

"No one was killed," Roger is quick to reassure.

"No one? Then what is it?"

"They knew me. They knew me from Earth- Terra- and they granted me permission to look at them and converse. They'd be interested to know if the tolls and taxes they would be paid would allow them to traverse on the paths outside of their forest, to visit it me."

The two beautiful girls blink in baffled shock for a moment before returning to normal. "A Yannis that you've befriend because... of your work with badgers?" She tries to understand.

"Yes, just so it would appear."

"Right, okay. Here you go," She handed off the copper bracelets to the Blue Team that seemingly fled once paid without even telling them goodbye. She brushed her hands against her thighs, "Alright, so I'm Myra. This is my terrority, I'm claim all this land till the sea under my domain. This is Melody, she's kind of like an ambassador between me and Cherry, that's the chick that owns the bordering lands of the ocean, don't bath in them without her permission-"

"To be clear," Melody interrupted, "I don't own allegiance to either of these ladies. I'm a bit of a mercenary, currently paid because WarJay and his army are packed at the border and neither of them really have an army to speak of." Complicated politics. Nice to know the more things change, the more they stay the same. "Now you were staying you're friends with the Yanni." She looked very impressed and approving, "Powerful ally to make."

Myra waved that away, "That's not why he did though, now is it?" She directed to Brian. "Doctor Brian Harold May," she stated as the Yanni had, "You had no idea of what this world attended and you only helped those poor creatures because it was in your power too?"

Brian nods, "I- yes, although I did wake up here once when I was very sick, I didn't leave um... I think it's called my flowerbed?"

"Very sick?" Roger interrupted anything the girls might have said, clinging on to his friend's arm. "With the hepatitis? You were so sick that- You were that sick?" 

Brian looks away, carefully not making eye contact and Roger retracts into himself but definitely doesn't stop holding on. Roger gulps in the now quiet of the room.

"We are happy that that was not your time but that you lived on to do so much more good, the good that is clearly in your heart, and help so many."

Brian blushes, not only from their words but Roger's regard, "It- It's was nothin- It was the least I could do," he corrects himself. "I-"

"It is not only what you did for these animals, which came from the purest of places, you're desire to prevent needless suffering when in your power," Melody cuts him off, "And think of all those that heard of your deeds, whose souls were touched by knowing that such kindness despite the cruel uncaring chaotic truth of the world."

Brian is deeply touched by these words. He had hoped, of course, to leave behind the best explain to all his numerous fans. He had made mistakes in his life and he wasn't proud of all of his behavior but he hoped to do more right than wrong. To leave behind a legacy of love, caring and compassion. 

It was reassuring to know, even in the littlest of ways, that he had succeeded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a little bit the boring in between stuff
> 
> more plot next so remember that I tend to update when I get an comment ;)


	9. sometimes I still think I can spot you in the crowd

When Melody laughs, her voice is truly of its name, melodic. As though her tough yet casual attitude, muscular build, voluminous hair, revealing clothing, beautiful face and her voice is beyond. They are dynamic and passionate with playfulness that sparkles in their eyes. It makes the old men actually think of Adam.

Myra is short. They imagined her a mighty force, yet despite her apparently iron rule she is just a girl, looking no different than them. Things like the Yannis, talking animals, and the Blue Team's behavior, they had imagined towering untouchable figures. Instead there is a 5'3 girl that could just be a university student listening to music too loud and bopping to Jack White.

"Why is this that this all looks like Earth? Are you from Earth?" Roger questions as he looks at all the very Earth technology and design. 

Myra shakes her head, "Nah I'm not from Terra and this is my first cycle actually. Well, technically. There's a word for us, first-comers, it just means that either this is our actually our first cycle, very unlikely, or far more probably, we died as infants which is why we have no other past-life memories."

"I see," He nods but he doesn't really see. "Then why do you pay for people from Ea- Terra? Why do you-?"

She waves at him to stop speaking. "I'm a big fan of the recent moves and changes in Terran history. For centuries you had slavery and non-stop feuding and plagues, all the awfulness of any world. And then, you just... You fought and fought for rights, equality, basic dignity. Always curious, so clever, so creative, always discovering and inventing the most ingenious things. And things are much better now but they aren't perfect so you keep fighting. Which is just..."

"Not how things are done here," Melody finishes.

"No. Slavery is so common here. There are people with the power and then there are those that emerge alone from flowerbeds, clueless, weak and no family to protect them. But I refuse, I refuse to allow such injustice to be and so that is why I kicked up my spear and fought. I fought for this territory, I claimed this domain and I outlawed injustice. But there is more. I, it is hard to put into words, but I truly believe that Terrans' creative, curious natures which lead to their ingenuity in all matters, is the source of this desire for a better world. And not the other way around." Myra stands up and paces the room, trailing her finger along the tightly packed bookshelves that line the wall. 

"Music is so..." She pulls Sgt. Pepper Lonely Hearts Club Band out. "Leaps and bounds, in every direction. Forever upwards and onwards. You are always creating," She pulls out Sheer Heart Attack. "It is good that you are recognized for the work you did by the Yanni. But I tell you, your music, the words and melodies you put out into the worlds, touched even more heart and did even more good," The last albums she pull are The Lot and Back to the Light. "That is why you are not only welcome here, like all Terrans, but to be provided for. A pension if you will although that's perhaps not the best word as you will still be expected to work. A forward? An advance? And yet you won't be required to be musicals, this payment is retroactive for your musical legacy. While all member of society must contribute and work, you can do whatever you wish."

Melody sets forward with forms in her hands. "All citizens are required to read this book of laws and acceptable conduct. When done you are to sign as proof of understanding. Everyone is assigned homes, and there is no need to pay for these homes. We have homes in White Water Bay, far from the bustle of this town. I think you will like it there but there are other locations."

"Is it far from here?"

"No where is far. This domain is quite small, you can walk it all in a day."

Brian and Roger share a look, they've been on the same wavelength from years, literally 50 years at this point, together. "Yes then that sounds fine, thank you." Brian answers. "We were just wondering if a friend of ours might be here, he's Terran too, if there was some way to find out, a record or something?"

Myra shrugs, "He might be. Not all Terrans come here."

"He was from our flower bed," Roger clarifies.

"How- How very unusual..." Myra blinks, clearly stunned by the admission. "You come from the same flowerbed, all three of you..."

"Well yes, actually there's will be fourth-" Brian had been calling them graves in his mind this whole time but bites that word back.

Myra twirls the Beatle album in her hands, "How unusual. I tell you, this is not the case normally. That you do not form bonds with coworkers. Only family, chosen family, and the closest of friends. For you four to love each other this much, it is very unusual." She looks down at the album, at the fab fours' unsmiling faces. Less than half of Queen's twenty, they had about seven years with all four of them. And it wasn't death that split them but irreconcilable differences, love and brotherhood turned to hatred and indifference. "Once you are settled down, we can find them. This place isn't that big."

Beneath their skin hope takes root. And maybe one day, one day soon, love will bloom again in their hearts. Content with this promise they are lead to another room that is well sound insulated to read the laws in peace. The laws are written in simple language without the legal jargon often associated with such documents. They are extensive and quite harsh for many things. And yet they grant absolute equality and nearly unfettered freedom of speech. While there are provisions for leniency that takes into account circumstances for crimes such as thief or self-defense; the laws however are unrelenting for things like child abuse or rape. 

They aren't sure how much they personally agree with the death penalty being used, as it seems extremely harsh and yet... lenient? Now that they know there is life after death, they aren't sure what this means. Still these are the rules of Myra's domain, a place that only saves them from the cruelty and slavery of other territories but will be giving them 'back-pay.'

\--  
Melody leads them to their assigned homes at White Water Bay. They walk outside on the beautiful, yet barren shore line. Which brings up a question to Brian. This territory is small and yet the population looks quite large, how is that sustainable. "I was wondering about where to food comes from? Is it all from trade or is there arable land somewhere else, more inland?"

Roger nods along, listening carefully to the answer, for if food only comes from trade that can be very, very dangerous. Especially if there are to be potential threats if 'War' Jay and Rhea's marriage falls through. 

"People of the earth can make food grow here despite the hostel weather and we provide them with stronger soil. Those people are rare but talented and rewarded amply for their work. There is one at White Water Bay. It has made him very wealthy which he finds amusing. You will see his crops in the courtyard. While we do make enough food for all our people, Myra is very carefully about this, she greatly fears a possible war with the Northern Blues, we do however trade for diversity. Fish from Cherry, animals that graze from Jay, orchard fruits from Rhea."

Melody keeps on talking but Roger and Brian aren't sure they follow everything, there is so much to take in. The essential is that they need not worry for food. They stew on the answer for a moment more in comfortable silence. 

"What is White Water Bay like?" Brian finally asks.

Melody smiles and her beauty is clear. "It is, as the name suggests, by the ocean. It is on a small, low cliff and the ocean is but a few stairs downs. The stone is layers of white, beige and red, it is beautiful. The cliff forms a C-shaped courtyard and carved into the rock are the houses. They are not too big... maybe thirty can be housed in the whole complex. The courtyard goes out far and so nearest the road are crops. Close to the houses, nested in the center is a garden with flowers, extremely beautiful flowers.

"Peonies?" Brian asks softly, hoping, grasping at straws.

Melody's brow wrinkles. "I am not sure. Probably, what there are, are freesias. Freesias of every color but mostly yellow ones."

"Yellow freesias," Roger to sees the lifeline. Yellow freesias were some of Freddie's favorite and he'd always have a vase of them on his table.

Melody just nods, seemingly unaware of their desperation. 

"A talented gardener, a lot of freesias," Roger speaks quietly, as though the truth might relieve itself. "Any koi fish or cats?"

"Koi fish are freshwater and cannot live in the ocean."

"In a pond?"

"It is too hot and dry for ponds here. I believe there must be cats, there are stray cats and dogs everywhere here. The good news is, as we have many cats we have few rats and makes it all worth it."

Roger and Brian keep looking at each other. Freddie is... All they've really been able to think about since they've gotten here. Even if he isn't at White Water Bay, he might be here in Myra's domain. There are of course two other opinions, that he has passed into the next world without reforming their bonds and is in this way lost to them. In bares no thinking about, the idea that they could be lost to each other forget is heartbreaking. For death could have been only the end but instead they and their memories are to live on and on forever without their missing part, their bright shining light. 

The other opinion is yet somehow possible worse. That Freddie was not found by a member of a Blue Team allied with the Reds but by a slaver and is toiling away under the kind of menial labor he'd hate. His creativity, his gentle soul and outgoing nature, crushed under a whip and chains. But if this is the case, they will rescue him. They will find a way to get him back his freedom.

Wherever he is, whatever has happened to him, they must know, they cannot live with that uncertainty. They will scour all of Myra's domain, overturn every rock in search of him. They will sketch his face and post flyers. They will ask every passing soul until they find him or discover his fate.


	10. With me

They follow the dirt path further and further away from the coastline. Until they arrive at a fork in the road. They head right, back toward the ocean and soon come across a garden growing pumpkins twice the size of bowling balls, zucchinis the size of beagles and so it goes on with butternut squashes, eggplants and so on. Lush, large vegetables although they are all not yet ripe, which makes sense as they do not ripen at the same time. They walk until there is a large fat cat blocking their path. It doesn't particularly look like a stray but it has no collar. It twitches its ears, flicks its tail and stares hard at these newcomers but it does not move and Melody simply steps over it.

They hear it first, that extremely distant laugh. They want to run ahead but they simply pick up the pace fast-walking down the path. They have just doubt and fear that they dare not run or call out. They dare not speak their hopes out loud least they be crushed.

They arrive at the end of the path to see two story high houses carved into the rock side. The laughter isn't coming from inside. A buddleia in full bloom blocks their view as they round the corner and see... The one and only Freddie Mercury.

He looks wonderful and about as old as them if not a little older. Maybe 50 or 60, older than he ever got to be. His hair, now dotted with pepper, is grown out just enough for it to curl and he's clean shaven. He's reclining on an lounge chair a pina colada with an umbrella in hand. He's smiling and laughing and laughing. He looks so happy. Absolutely delighted. Exactly how they'd pictured him if they had believed in heaven.

"Fred," Roger calls out in a broken little boy voice.

"Mm?" Freddie pushes up his sunglasses and turns to look. The renegotiation is instant. He drops the drink and jumps on Roger enveloping him in a hug. "Roger! Darling!" Both his arms squeeze around his dear friends chest, "Oh and a beard! I like it." They keep hugging until he sees Brian over his shoulder. "Oh and Brian? Don't just hide behind the bush-" With a hand Freddie grabs him by the front of his tunic and squishes him into the hug. "Oh, it's so good to see you all again. And here, here-here. How did you find me? What are you both doing here? How long have you been here? - What are you wearing?"

His slew of questions end when he looks down at the plain beige tunics of Roger and Brian. "That won't do." He takes them both by the arms and starts leading them towards the stone buildings. Freddie himself is dressed in casual beach wear of a bright yellow mid thigh shorts and striped tank top, very Terran. "Oh hold on." He turns them around. "This is Jim, do you remember Jim?"

"Do we remember you're husband?" / "Yes, of course." Roger and Brian answer over each other.

Jim is kneeling on a kneeling pad, his hands digging the soil. He's wearing working clothes that are smudged with dirt and a wide brim straw hat. He too is clean shaven and smiles kindly back at them. He slowly stands up. "Hello there boys." They approach and politely shake hands. "That's a lovely flower in your hair, Brian."

"And what mine is ugly?" Roger teased.

Brian instantly reaches not for the hollyhock but for the peony. It hasn't wilted during the hot day and is still as beautiful as when he picked it. "We-I thought he might be yellow freesias when our guide told us they grew here-"

Jim shakes his head while Freddie acknowledges Melody with an enthusiastic hand wave and greeting. "Actually, I'm the yellow freesias and I assume the yellow-tipped hollyhocks are Roger and you are the hydrangeas."

"The blue ones yes," Brian nods. While hydrangeas didn't grow in as many colors as freesias or hollyhocks, he liked the shades of blue, purple and pink they came in.

"Well they're not really blue," explains Jim with his gardener-voice. "It's just what soil they grow in. Acidic soil makes them blue, alkaline soil makes them pink and when the pH is around 6 they are purple. It just depends on their surroundings." He twirls the peony slowly between his fingers.

Brian feels like there is a toad in his throat and swallows hard. "How... Interesting." Brian tries to downplay it. Obviously humans have assigned meaning to flowers which have been different across time and culture. But the colors... There's an obvious modern day association of the colors blue and pink that is not lost on Brian. He is a blue here, but only because of his surroundings. It means something, Brian believes that. The same way that Sail Away Sweet Sister and Son and Daughter meant something. "Thank you for telling me," He says under his breath to Jim.

Jim acts as though he is unconcerned with any of this. Aloof and smiling softly, just happy his Beau has found his long lost friends. As unflinching as Freddie's mother, interesting that these would be the kind of people that Freddie would flock to. Freddie currently clinging to Roger as he speeches excited and gesticulates with his hands.

Jim places the peony over his ear, "I came from a flowerbed right here, on this very peninsula." He points to left where now short flowers such as petunias and marigolds grown amongst the tall freesias. "There's another flower bed over there," He points far in the direction they came from. "I'm told this isn't necessarily someone I knew very well as our flower beds aren't side by side. Freddie things its Phoebe."

Brian smiles at the thought. "That'd be nice I think. Phoebe... cared- cares for Freddie so much. What flower is he?"

Jim shakes his head, "Fortunately we don't know yet and hopefully not for a while still. Can you tell me how much time has passed on Earth, time seems slower here."

Brian nods slowly for these words are heavy and will weigh on Jim once heard, "Thirty years since Freddie passed." He's ashamed that it takes him another moment to calculate the rest, "Ten since you."

Freddie starts to eagerly lead Roger inside as Melody follows with a mildly pleased expression. The two men follow sedately behind. "That's shorter than I imagined before you arrived here, and both a the same time..."

Brian can hear the question but he wants to lie. That they both died peacefully in their sleep after a long life and found each other years apart in this new world. "We did live long lives though," Brian clings to that hope. Jim politely doesn't say they could have had at least twenty years more. "There was an accident. The plane we were in..." Jim places a hand comfortingly between Brian's shoulder blades.

"Ta-Da!" Freddie announces as he proudly presents to them the room. Roger claps excitedly while Brian can't yet see it from where he is behind them.

"Come on, come on you beanstalk, you need to see this too."

Brian makes a show of walking even slower to piss Freddie off. He and John were always doing it with their presents and ripping the wrapping paper off as slowly as possible. When once he does actually pass the threshold he stares in curiosity.

"We are so happy you could grace us with your present Dr. May."

"Doctor? Really or is Roger teasing?"

"Both." / "Both." They answer of each other.

"I really did finally get my doctorate. Had some time and I really wanted to finish it."

"Oh! I'm so happy for you, congratulations!" Freddie praises and it makes Brian feel as warm inside as he imagined. Freddie had been one of his sounding boards when he had been trying to write it in the early 70's. Freddie had been supportive and curious, not so much in the matter but in something that interested Brian so much. He had been such a supportive friend and to have him here now was just as Brian imagined it would be. "We'll have to get out the champagne."

Brian's joy explodes out into laughter, "Of course Fred."

The room is a showroom of antiques. Well not literally antiques but rather replicas of Earth things through the years. Some of the paintings and artworks are clearly by Freddie's hand. Most of it is wooden furniture. Cabinets, tables, chairs, shelves, desks and so on. "Is this all your work?" Brian quietly asks the carpenter.

Jim shakes his head, "No most of it is commissioned. I'm actually very good in the garden, they need me."

"What are you two old ladies whisper about? Oh yes! That's right!" Freddie jumps over deeply enthusiastic. "My husband," Freddie dramatically drapes an arm around Jim's shoulders in a manner that conveniently shows off his wedding ring, "Is such a rich, rich man. Why, he takes such good care of me." Freddie bats his eyelashes and speaks in the same breathy voice that Marilyn Monroe did in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. "I'm so lucky he'll have me. But when I grow out of my beauty, all this luscious, gorgeous self-" With every phrase Freddie gets more and more dramatic.

"It's just because I produce food. Food is hard to grow in this hot, dry climate. And now Freddie, he doesn't sing-"

"I couldn't without the band-"

"And instead makes some money by procuring second-hand stuff and having vintage-like things custom made that he then resells. It's kind of like the days of Kensington Market all over again."

"But now you're here which confirms what I definitely knew, that the four flower beds were for the four of us," There's something delicate in Freddie's eyes. He has definitely lived in fear and doubt that somehow it won't be them and that he wouldn't see them again. He had to live with this doubt. It was probably less than the crush depressing of thinking Freddie dead and gone forever, at least Fred knew there was an afterlife. Instead it would have been a small nibbling fear, like a pebble in the shoe, that keeps poking and prodding. Waking up in the middle of the night with that sole thought in your head and the terrible doubt. Brian can sympathize and is happy that their deaths, no matter how bad, have at least done this. "So all that we're waiting for is Deaky and hopefully, years and years will pass before he shows up. Jim tells me he's had even more children and I was told you too?" Freddie looks at Roger. Of course Freddie never even got to meet Lola or Tiger Lily.

But Roger is distracted by the way Brian is looking so sad. "It's alright. It's alright now."

"I'm sorry Freddie. I'm so sorry I couldn't," Brian drops his head to hide his expression and watering eyes behind his hair. "I just couldn't do it. I know you wanted us to keep on- to keep on performing but I couldn't- I couldn't go up there and perform the songs that you'd written, that you'd always sung and played with me, with us, I couldn't do it without you."

"Oh love. Oh hush now," Freddie cradles Brian against his chest. "You have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong. I'm the one that should apologize." Brian doesn't remember a time Freddie ever apologized, never willing to admit he was ever wrong. "I asked of you but I- I was giving permission. I wanted my music -and yours- the songs we wrote and loved, to live on, which they did. And for that I am so thankful. But you didn't have to, there was no obligation, but I know you- you could have never been content to settle, to retire. You have and Roger both have that fire in your bones and flame in your soul that makes you want to take the stage. I never wanted my death to take that away from you."

"Thank you Fred," Roger answers while Brian has his existential crisis about failing his dear friend against said friend's chest. "We were so happy to keep on performing. You have seen them, the audience, they still loved you and never forgot. They would sing along with your echo and cheer to your image."

"And now, we're here. Here together. Deaky will join us in his own time and we'll all be together, again." Brian rises his head and they look at each other all beaming with stupid smiles on their faces, tears still streaming. Together again sounds about right.

-  
Back on Terra there is an old man, surrounded by family but devastated in heart and soul. Two more of his dear, dear friends are gone. This means that, him, the last and youngest member of Queen, is now the sole survivor. Tears flow freely from tightly scrunched up face but unlike his far, far, unreachably far friends, these tears are not of joy.

He had never had the same passionate and drive as them, to be musicians or rockstars. It had just been a college hobby that had spiraled completely out of his control. He hadn't deserved to be in the band, he hadn't deserved to drag them down with his limited songwriting skills and unsociable attitude. He would have give anything... He would have given up his life it meant they could have rock on, lived on...

But one day, perhaps one day soon, he will know the peace that comes with passing on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG it's finally done jesus christ i thought this fic was only gonna be like 6k or something, I hope it was worth it in the end.


End file.
